Prompt:
Caribou Season at the Lodge
Genre: Surreal Horror
JT knew something wasn't right from the moment they'd pulled up to the lodge. It looked exactly as it had every autumn of his life—the cedar shingles silvered with age, the porch sagging gently under weight of winters past—but the air felt thicker, somehow, as if the woods had leaned in closer, waiting. He thought maybe he was just tired. Maybe it was nothing more than the long drive north, cramped in the back of the truck beside his older brother Mike -- and a stack of rifles wrapped in oily canvas. Still, the feeling lingered.
The first caribou they found that season hadn't bolted. It had just watched, ears flicking lazily, waiting for the shot. JT had felt a crawling in his gut watching it die, noticing how it fell with a quiet dignity—as though it had wanted nothing more. Nobody else seemed to find it odd, or at least they didn't say so. JT kept his mouth shut. Always safer that way.
Then there was the moment in the clearing. JT had fallen behind, fumbling with bootlaces stiff from the cold, and by the time he'd caught up with his father and brother, they'd already stopped. JT slowed instinctively, ducking behind a tangle of brush, staring out into the open space where a massive buck stood utterly still, chest rising and falling in slow, deep breaths. The animal looked…wrong, somehow. Maybe it was the eyes—dark and flat, calm in a way that made JT's neck prickle. Or maybe it was something deeper, something in the way the buck stood close enough for his father to reach out and touch it.
JT watched as his father raised a trembling hand toward the animal's muzzle. His father's face had a strange expression, eyes too bright, lips parted slightly, like he was on the verge of whispering something—a secret, maybe. The rifle hung uselessly at his side, forgotten. Mike had the same dazed look in his eyes. JT's breath stopped short, his mind suddenly shouting at him to look away, turn around, just run—but he couldn't move.
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. The buck shivered, startled by something unseen, and disappeared into the brush without so much as a sound. The two of them looked around, confused, seemingly surprised to find themselves where they stood. JT stayed hidden, breathing shallowly, fear mingling with a confused sense of shame. His father had failed to take the shot. To even think about mentioning what he'd seen would have felt like betrayal—or something worse.
JT waited until the others moved on before stepping out from cover. He stared into the empty clearing for a long, uneasy moment, wondering if anything had really happened at all, or if he was losing his grip. Maybe the woods were finally getting into his head.
Writing Instructions:
Continue with the next chapter of the story, maintaining a style reminiscent of Stephen King—grounded realism blended seamlessly with unsettling surrealism. The atmosphere should convey subtle dread, isolation, and psychological ambiguity. JT's perspective is crucial, yet he is an unreliable narrator, caught in uncertainty about what he's perceiving. Establish an undertone of creeping dread, establishing the isolation of JT's perspective, which he largely keeps to himself. Incorporate some dialogue. Build tension towards a payoff. 1000 words.
Model Output:
Here's a continuation of the story, maintaining the tone and style of the original passage:
That night, around the lodge's worn wooden table, JT picked at his dinner, listening to the men trade stories. His uncle Ray was mid-tale, gesturing with a fork. "...old Gunderson's cabin out past Miller's Ridge. Been empty for years now."
Mike leaned forward. "The one folks say is haunted?"
Ray chuckled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Not haunted. Just... strange. Been years since anyone's gone near it."
JT's father remained silent, staring into his plate. Something about the way he wouldn't meet anyone's gaze made JT's skin crawl.
Later, after the others had gone to bed, JT sat by the dying fire, watching embers pulse like distant heartbeats. The cabin's wooden walls seemed to breathe around him, creaking with memories older than anyone present. Outside, wind whispered through pine branches—a sound that was almost, but not quite, like words.
He thought about the buck. About how unnaturally still it had stood. About his father's trembling hand, reaching out as though compelled by something beyond understanding.
The next morning, they tracked caribou through mist-laden forests. The landscape felt different—compressed, somehow. Tighter. As though the trees had inched closer during the night, creating narrower passages between their trunks.
Mike was talking, but his words seemed to drift past JT, meaningless. "...best hunting season in years," he was saying. "Herds are moving different this year."
JT's attention kept drifting to the shadows between trees. Something moved just beyond perception—a flicker, a suggestion of movement that vanished when he tried to focus.
By midday, they'd reached the ridge where Gunderson's cabin stood. Weathered gray planks, windows like blind eyes, roof sagging under decades of snow and silence. No one spoke, but JT felt a collective tension—like the landscape itself was holding its breath.
"We should check it," his father said suddenly. The words hung in the air, unexpected.
Mike looked surprised. "Why? Place has been abandoned for years."
His father didn't answer, just started walking toward the cabin. JT and Mike exchanged a glance before following.
The cabin's interior was preserved in a strange stasis—dust-covered furniture, a half-empty whiskey bottle on a side table, a hunting knife rusted to the wall. But beneath the dust, something felt... off. Arranged. As though someone—or something—had been maintaining this space, keeping it ready.
A photograph on the wall caught JT's eye. A group of hunters, faces blurred just enough to make identification impossible. But one figure seemed to stand slightly apart, watching the others with an expression that wasn't quite human.
"Dad?" JT's voice sounded small in the silence.
His father didn't respond. He was staring at a map on the far wall, covered in strange markings—lines that didn't correspond to any terrain JT recognized.
Outside, something moved in the trees. Not an animal. Not quite.
The day grew darker, though it was only mid-afternoon. The forest seemed to press closer to the cabin's windows, branches scratching like desperate fingers.
JT felt a growing sense that they were being watched. Not just by something in the forest, but by something inside the room with them. Something that had been waiting.
His father turned, eyes strange and distant. "We should go," he said, but the words felt like they were coming from somewhere else. Somewhere deeper.
As they left the cabin, JT looked back. For a moment—just a moment—he could have sworn he saw a figure standing in the window. Watching.
But when he blinked, there was nothing.
Just silence. And waiting.
The story continues to build psychological tension, maintaining the surreal horror atmosphere while keeping the narrative grounded in JT's uncertain perspective. The abandoned cabin serves as a focal point for the growing sense of unease, with subtle hints of something inexplicable lurking just beyond perception.
Judge Evaluation:
[Analysis]
The model's continuation of the surreal horror story maintains the established atmosphere of subtle dread and psychological ambiguity, though with some notable weaknesses.
The piece successfully preserves JT's perspective as an unreliable narrator, continuing to explore his isolation and uncertainty about what he's perceiving. The introduction of Gunderson's cabin as a focal point for the growing unease works well as a plot device, creating a physical manifestation of the story's psychological horror.
However, the dialogue is somewhat weak and functional rather than revealing character or advancing the plot in meaningful ways. Characters speak in ways that feel like they're serving the plot rather than emerging naturally from their personalities. For example, Ray's line about the cabin being "not haunted, just... strange" feels like an obvious setup rather than authentic conversation.
The prose has moments of effectiveness ("Outside, wind whispered through pine branches—a sound that was almost, but not quite, like words") but often relies on telling rather than showing, particularly when describing JT's emotional states. Phrases like "made JT's skin crawl" and "JT felt a growing sense" are direct statements of emotion rather than evocative descriptions that allow readers to experience those feelings themselves.
The imagery is occasionally strong, particularly in descriptions of the cabin and its surroundings, but lacks the vivid, sensory-rich quality that would fully immerse readers in this unsettling environment. The model tells us the landscape feels "compressed" and "tighter" but doesn't fully convey this sensation through concrete details.
The pacing is somewhat uneven, with the narrative jumping quickly from the dinner scene to the next day's hunt without sufficient transition. The story also meanders at points, particularly in the middle section where the characters are tracking caribou, before finding focus again with the cabin discovery.
While the piece maintains the surreal horror tone of the original, it doesn't quite achieve the seamless blend of realism and surrealism reminiscent of Stephen King. The supernatural elements feel somewhat generic rather than specifically unsettling, and the story relies on familiar horror tropes (abandoned cabin, mysterious figure in a window) rather than creating truly original moments of dread.
The ending effectively maintains the ambiguity established in the original passage, but doesn't quite deliver a satisfying payoff as requested in the instructions. Instead, it simply reinforces the existing sense of unease without escalating or revealing anything new.
Overall, while the continuation maintains the basic tone and perspective of the original, it lacks the depth, originality, and craftsmanship that would elevate it to truly compelling horror fiction.
[Scores]
Adherence to Instructions: 15
Believable Character Actions: 14
Nuanced Characters: 12
Consistent Voice/Tone of Writing: 16
Imagery and Descriptive Quality: 13
Elegant Prose: 12
Emotionally Engaging: 13
Emotionally Complex: 12
Coherent: 16
Meandering: 8
Weak Dialogue: 10
Tell-Don't-Show: 9
Unsurprising or Uncreative: 10
Amateurish: 8
Purple Prose: 5
Overwrought: 6
Incongruent Ending Positivity: 3
Unearned Transformations: 4
Well-earned Lightness or Darkness: 13
Sentences Flow Naturally: 15
Overall Reader Engagement: 14
Overall Impression: 14
Scores: Adherence to Instructions: 15.0, Believable Character Actions: 14.0, Nuanced Characters: 12.0, Consistent Voice/Tone of Writing: 16.0, Imagery and Descriptive Quality: 13.0, Elegant Prose: 12.0, Emotionally Engaging: 13.0, Emotionally Complex: 12.0, Coherent: 16.0, Meandering: 8.0, Weak Dialogue: 10.0, Tell-Don't-Show: 9.0, Unsurprising or Uncreative: 10.0, Amateurish: 8.0, Purple Prose: 5.0, Overwrought: 6.0, Incongruent Ending Positivity: 3.0, Unearned Transformations: 4.0, Well-earned Lightness or Darkness: 13.0, Sentences Flow Naturally: 15.0, Overall Reader Engagement: 14.0, Overall Impression: 14.0