Prompt:
Caribou Season at the Lodge
Genre: Surreal Horror
JT knew something wasn't right from the moment they'd pulled up to the lodge. It looked exactly as it had every autumn of his life—the cedar shingles silvered with age, the porch sagging gently under weight of winters past—but the air felt thicker, somehow, as if the woods had leaned in closer, waiting. He thought maybe he was just tired. Maybe it was nothing more than the long drive north, cramped in the back of the truck beside his older brother Mike -- and a stack of rifles wrapped in oily canvas. Still, the feeling lingered.
The first caribou they found that season hadn't bolted. It had just watched, ears flicking lazily, waiting for the shot. JT had felt a crawling in his gut watching it die, noticing how it fell with a quiet dignity—as though it had wanted nothing more. Nobody else seemed to find it odd, or at least they didn't say so. JT kept his mouth shut. Always safer that way.
Then there was the moment in the clearing. JT had fallen behind, fumbling with bootlaces stiff from the cold, and by the time he'd caught up with his father and brother, they'd already stopped. JT slowed instinctively, ducking behind a tangle of brush, staring out into the open space where a massive buck stood utterly still, chest rising and falling in slow, deep breaths. The animal looked…wrong, somehow. Maybe it was the eyes—dark and flat, calm in a way that made JT's neck prickle. Or maybe it was something deeper, something in the way the buck stood close enough for his father to reach out and touch it.
JT watched as his father raised a trembling hand toward the animal's muzzle. His father's face had a strange expression, eyes too bright, lips parted slightly, like he was on the verge of whispering something—a secret, maybe. The rifle hung uselessly at his side, forgotten. Mike had the same dazed look in his eyes. JT's breath stopped short, his mind suddenly shouting at him to look away, turn around, just run—but he couldn't move.
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. The buck shivered, startled by something unseen, and disappeared into the brush without so much as a sound. The two of them looked around, confused, seemingly surprised to find themselves where they stood. JT stayed hidden, breathing shallowly, fear mingling with a confused sense of shame. His father had failed to take the shot. To even think about mentioning what he'd seen would have felt like betrayal—or something worse.
JT waited until the others moved on before stepping out from cover. He stared into the empty clearing for a long, uneasy moment, wondering if anything had really happened at all, or if he was losing his grip. Maybe the woods were finally getting into his head.
Writing Instructions:
Continue with the next chapter of the story, maintaining a style reminiscent of Stephen King—grounded realism blended seamlessly with unsettling surrealism. The atmosphere should convey subtle dread, isolation, and psychological ambiguity. JT's perspective is crucial, yet he is an unreliable narrator, caught in uncertainty about what he's perceiving. Establish an undertone of creeping dread, establishing the isolation of JT's perspective, which he largely keeps to himself. Incorporate some dialogue. Build tension towards a payoff. 1000 words.
Model Output:
**Chapter Two: The Weight of Antlers**
The lodge creaked that night, more than JT remembered. Each groan of timber echoed like a held breath. At dinner, his father hunched over venison stew, eyes fixed on the flickering oil lamp. The shadows carved hollows beneath his cheekbones, making him look older, stranger. Mike shoveled food into his mouth, avoiding JT’s gaze.
“That buck today,” JT ventured, voice too loud in the silence. “It was… different, right?”
His father’s spoon froze mid-air. Mike snorted. “Different how? You mean *big*? Yeah, no shit. Trophy material.”
“Not just big. It didn’t *move*. Like it was—”
“—Like it was what?” His father’s voice was a blade. The lamp guttered as he stood, chair scraping. “You think I don’t know how to track? How to *hunt*?” Spittle glistened on his beard. For a heartbeat, his pupils seemed to dilate, swallowing the irises whole. Then he turned away, muttering, “Goddamn waste of time.”
The slamming door shook dust from the rafters. Mike glared at JT. “Nice going. Now he’ll brood for days.”
“You saw it too,” JT whispered. “The way it just… *let* him—”
“I saw a deer. You’re spooked because Dad choked. Happens.” Mike stood, tossing his napkin into the stew. “Get some sleep. You’re jumpier than a fawn.”
---
JT lay awake, listening. The wind hissed through cracks in the lodge walls, carrying a low, rhythmic sound—not quite a howl, not quite a groan. *Like breathing*, he thought, then cursed himself. His phone read 2:17 a.m. when the first thud came.
*Thump.*
Something heavy against the porch.
*Thump. Thump.*
JT pulled on his boots, pulse roaring. The rifles were still propped by the door, wrapped in their greasy shrouds. He hesitated, then grabbed a flashlight. The beam trembled as he stepped outside.
Moonlight bleached the clearing. The buck stood at the tree line, antlers glinting like bone. Its sides heaved, steam curling from its nostrils. JT’s breath hitched. It wasn’t just the size—ten points at least—but the *posture*, erect and deliberate, as if waiting. The flashlight’s beam caught its eyes: black pools, depthless.
“Go on,” JT whispered, voice cracking. “*Shoo!*”
The buck didn’t flinch. Instead, it tilted its head, antlers scraping the sky. A wet, clicking sound came from its throat. JT stumbled back, boots crunching ice. The noise wasn’t animal. It was *language*, syllables mashed into guttural static.
“JT?”
He whirled. Mike stood in the doorway, squinting. “The hell are you doing?”
“The—the buck. It’s back, it’s—”
Mike followed the flashlight’s beam. Empty trees swayed. “Christ, you’re hallucinating. Get inside before you freeze.”
---
Morning brought a brittle silence. Frost feathered the windows, sealing them in. At breakfast, their father spoke for the first time in hours. “We’ll split up. Cover more ground.” He tossed a compass at JT. “You’re east ridge. Mike, west. I’ll take the river.”
“Alone?” JT’s throat tightened. “Since when do we—”
“Since now.” His father’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Prove you’re not a kid anymore.”
The east ridge was a jagged spine of rock, half a mile from the lodge. JT’s breath hung in clouds as he climbed, the compass cold against his palm. He tried not to think about the buck’s eyes, the way they’d *watched* him. *You’re tired*, he told himself. *Imagining things.*
Then he crested the ridge and saw the blood.
It pooled beneath a spruce tree, glossy and fresh. No tracks led to or from it—no drag marks, no scuffle. Just a perfect crimson circle, steaming faintly. JT crouched, gloved finger skimming the surface. It clung, sticky and warm.
A twig snapped behind him.
JT spun, rifle slipping in his grip. The buck stood ten yards away, chest heaving. Its antlers gleamed unnaturally white, tips sharp as spikes. This close, JT could see scars webbing its flanks—jagged lines that didn’t look like claw marks or bullet wounds. They formed patterns. *Letters.*
“No,” JT breathed. The buck stepped closer, and the air thickened, syrup-slow. JT’s finger found the trigger. The rifle felt alien, wrong. The buck’s nostrils flared, inhaling his fear.
*Click-click-grind.*
The sound again. Words trapped in flesh.
JT’s vision blurred. The trees warped, stretching into impossible angles. The blood at his feet began to bubble, releasing a coppery stench. He gagged, backpedaling, and the spell broke. The buck vanished. The blood was just blood.
“Not real,” JT panted, trembling. “Not real.”
---
He returned at dusk to find Mike skinning a rabbit by the fire, hands slick with gore. Their father was nowhere.
“Where’s Dad?”
Mike shrugged. “Haven’t seen him. You?”
JT stared into the flames. “I think… something’s wrong with the woods.”
Mike laughed, sharp and hollow. “Yeah? What’s next—trees whispering secrets?”
“The caribou. They’re not *right*. That buck, it’s—”
“—It’s a *deer*, JT. Just a goddamn deer.” Mike jabbed his knife into the log. “You’re losing it. Maybe the altitude’s frying your brain.”
JT opened his mouth, but a howl cut him off—long and mournful, wavering between human and animal. Both boys froze.
“Coyote,” Mike said, too quickly.
It came again, closer. The fire spat embers as the wind rose. JT’s skin prickled. “We should find Dad.”
“He’s fine. Probably bagged that buck and is dragging it back.” Mike wiped his hands on his jeans, leaving smears. “Sit. Eat.”
JT didn’t move. The howl echoed, now threaded with that same wet clicking.
*Click-click-grind. Click-grind-speak.*
“You hear that?” JT whispered.
Mike paled. “Hear what?”
---
Their father returned at midnight, boots caked in mud. He reeked of musk and spoiled meat. When JT asked where he’d been, he just smiled, teeth glinting in the dark.
“Found something better than a buck,” he rasped, clutching a bundle to his chest. It squirmed faintly, wrapped in oil-stained canvas.
JT didn’t sleep. He watched the woods, flashlight off, until dawn bleached the sky. Just before sunrise, he heard it: antlers scraping against the lodge walls, slow and deliberate, like a blade on bone.
When he mustered the courage to look, he found only footprints in the frost—hoofprints, deep and precise, circling the cabin again and again and again.
Judge Evaluation:
[Analysis]
This continuation of the surreal horror story effectively maintains the established tone and builds upon the psychological tension introduced in the first chapter. The piece successfully creates an atmosphere of dread and isolation through JT's perspective, keeping with the Stephen King-esque blend of grounded realism and unsettling surrealism.
The writing excels in its atmospheric quality. Descriptions like "Each groan of timber echoed like a held breath" and "The shadows carved hollows beneath his cheekbones" create vivid imagery that enhances the creeping dread. The author skillfully uses sensory details to immerse the reader in JT's increasingly disturbed perception of reality.
Character dynamics are well-developed. The tension between JT, his brother Mike, and their father feels authentic, with dialogue that reveals their differing reactions to the strange occurrences. The father's transformation is particularly unsettling, subtly portrayed through behavioral changes rather than explicit explanation.
The narrative maintains a strong psychological ambiguity throughout. JT's unreliable narration is handled deftly—we're never quite sure if what he's experiencing is real or imagined. This uncertainty is central to the horror, as requested in the prompt.
The dialogue serves the story well, revealing character dynamics while advancing the plot. Exchanges are terse and loaded with subtext, appropriate for the strained family relationships and mounting tension.
The pacing builds effectively toward several small payoffs (the midnight encounter with the buck, the blood on the ridge, the father's return with something "better than a buck"), creating a crescendo of dread rather than a single climactic moment.
Some minor weaknesses include occasional overreliance on horror tropes (the black eyes, the mysterious clicking sounds) that, while effective, aren't particularly innovative. A few descriptions verge on purple prose ("antlers scraping the sky"), though most imagery remains controlled and purposeful.
Overall, the piece successfully continues the story while maintaining the requested style and tone. It builds tension effectively, establishes JT's isolation, incorporates meaningful dialogue, and delivers on the promise of psychological horror with surreal elements.
[Scores]
Adherence to Instructions: 19
Believable Character Actions: 18
Nuanced Characters: 17
Consistent Voice/Tone of Writing: 19
Imagery and Descriptive Quality: 18
Elegant Prose: 17
Emotionally Engaging: 18
Emotionally Complex: 17
Coherent: 18
Meandering: 3
Weak Dialogue: 4
Tell-Don't-Show: 3
Unsurprising or Uncreative: 6
Amateurish: 3
Purple Prose: 5
Overwrought: 4
Incongruent Ending Positivity: 1
Unearned Transformations: 2
Well-earned Lightness or Darkness: 18
Sentences Flow Naturally: 17
Overall Reader Engagement: 18
Overall Impression: 18
Scores: Adherence to Instructions: 19.0, Believable Character Actions: 18.0, Nuanced Characters: 17.0, Consistent Voice/Tone of Writing: 19.0, Imagery and Descriptive Quality: 18.0, Elegant Prose: 17.0, Emotionally Engaging: 18.0, Emotionally Complex: 17.0, Coherent: 18.0, Meandering: 3.0, Weak Dialogue: 4.0, Tell-Don't-Show: 3.0, Unsurprising or Uncreative: 6.0, Amateurish: 3.0, Purple Prose: 5.0, Overwrought: 4.0, Incongruent Ending Positivity: 1.0, Unearned Transformations: 2.0, Well-earned Lightness or Darkness: 18.0, Sentences Flow Naturally: 17.0, Overall Reader Engagement: 18.0, Overall Impression: 18.0