Prompt:
Caribou Season at the Lodge
Genre: Surreal Horror
JT knew something wasn't right from the moment they'd pulled up to the lodge. It looked exactly as it had every autumn of his life—the cedar shingles silvered with age, the porch sagging gently under weight of winters past—but the air felt thicker, somehow, as if the woods had leaned in closer, waiting. He thought maybe he was just tired. Maybe it was nothing more than the long drive north, cramped in the back of the truck beside his older brother Mike -- and a stack of rifles wrapped in oily canvas. Still, the feeling lingered.
The first caribou they found that season hadn't bolted. It had just watched, ears flicking lazily, waiting for the shot. JT had felt a crawling in his gut watching it die, noticing how it fell with a quiet dignity—as though it had wanted nothing more. Nobody else seemed to find it odd, or at least they didn't say so. JT kept his mouth shut. Always safer that way.
Then there was the moment in the clearing. JT had fallen behind, fumbling with bootlaces stiff from the cold, and by the time he'd caught up with his father and brother, they'd already stopped. JT slowed instinctively, ducking behind a tangle of brush, staring out into the open space where a massive buck stood utterly still, chest rising and falling in slow, deep breaths. The animal looked…wrong, somehow. Maybe it was the eyes—dark and flat, calm in a way that made JT's neck prickle. Or maybe it was something deeper, something in the way the buck stood close enough for his father to reach out and touch it.
JT watched as his father raised a trembling hand toward the animal's muzzle. His father's face had a strange expression, eyes too bright, lips parted slightly, like he was on the verge of whispering something—a secret, maybe. The rifle hung uselessly at his side, forgotten. Mike had the same dazed look in his eyes. JT's breath stopped short, his mind suddenly shouting at him to look away, turn around, just run—but he couldn't move.
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. The buck shivered, startled by something unseen, and disappeared into the brush without so much as a sound. The two of them looked around, confused, seemingly surprised to find themselves where they stood. JT stayed hidden, breathing shallowly, fear mingling with a confused sense of shame. His father had failed to take the shot. To even think about mentioning what he'd seen would have felt like betrayal—or something worse.
JT waited until the others moved on before stepping out from cover. He stared into the empty clearing for a long, uneasy moment, wondering if anything had really happened at all, or if he was losing his grip. Maybe the woods were finally getting into his head.
Writing Instructions:
Continue with the next chapter of the story, maintaining a style reminiscent of Stephen King—grounded realism blended seamlessly with unsettling surrealism. The atmosphere should convey subtle dread, isolation, and psychological ambiguity. JT's perspective is crucial, yet he is an unreliable narrator, caught in uncertainty about what he's perceiving. Establish an undertone of creeping dread, establishing the isolation of JT's perspective, which he largely keeps to himself. Incorporate some dialogue. Build tension towards a payoff. 1000 words.
Model Output:
## Chapter Two: The Stillness of Bone
The next few days settled into a grim routine. Wake, eat a silent breakfast of lukewarm coffee and stale biscuits, track, shoot, gut, haul. The caribou didn't run. They stood, or grazed, or simply *were*, waiting. It was unnatural. JT found himself anticipating the stillness more than the hunt itself, a morbid curiosity twisting in his gut. He’d scan the woods, not for movement, but for that unsettling lack of it.
Mike, usually a boisterous presence, had grown quiet. He’d always been a man of few words, but now even those were rationed. He’d skin a caribou with a grim efficiency, his movements precise and devoid of emotion, and then retreat into himself, staring into the fire with a vacant expression. Their father, too, seemed…altered. The light in his eyes, the one JT had seen in the clearing, hadn't completely faded. It lingered, a strange, almost feverish gleam that made JT uneasy. He'd catch his father staring at the caribou carcasses, not with the satisfaction of a successful hunt, but with something akin to…longing.
“You alright, son?” Mike asked one evening, his voice raspy from the cold. They were huddled around the fire, the wind whistling a mournful tune through the gaps in the lodge walls.
JT shrugged, poking at the embers with a stick. “Just tired.”
Mike grunted, not looking up. “You’ve been quiet. More than usual.”
JT bristled. He was *always* quiet. It was his defense mechanism, his way of navigating the unspoken rules of their family. "Just thinking."
"About what?" Mike pressed, finally meeting his gaze. There was something searching in his eyes, something JT didn't understand.
"Nothing," JT mumbled, turning away. He didn't want to talk about the buck, about the unsettling stillness, about the way his father’s hand had trembled. He didn’t want to admit to himself, let alone to Mike, that he was starting to feel like he was losing his mind.
Their father remained silent, a dark silhouette against the flickering firelight. He seemed to be listening to something JT couldn't hear, his face etched with a strange, faraway sadness.
The lodge keeper, a wizened old man named Silas, was the only other person around. He moved through the lodge like a ghost, tending the fire, replenishing the woodpile, his eyes perpetually downcast. He rarely spoke, and when he did, his words were cryptic and unsettling.
“The woods are listening, boy,” Silas had mumbled to JT earlier that day, while sharpening a knife. “Always listening.”
JT hadn't responded, just stared at the man, feeling a chill crawl down his spine.
One afternoon, while tracking a particularly docile caribou, JT found himself drawn to a cluster of trees he’d never noticed before. They were gnarled and ancient, their branches intertwined like skeletal fingers reaching for the sky. Beyond them, half-hidden by overgrown brush, stood a hunting cabin. It was small and dilapidated, the cedar shingles rotting and peeling, the windows dark and vacant.
He’d heard stories about the cabin, whispered tales passed down through generations of hunters. It was abandoned decades ago, they said, after a trapper vanished without a trace. Some claimed the cabin was haunted, that an unknown presence dwelled within its decaying walls. Others said it was simply cursed, a place where the woods themselves turned against you.
JT hesitated, a knot of apprehension tightening in his stomach. He knew he shouldn't go near it, that his father would disapprove. But something compelled him, a morbid curiosity, a desperate need to understand the unsettling feeling that had been growing within him.
He pushed his way through the brush, the air growing colder, the silence deeper. The cabin loomed before him, a dark and ominous silhouette against the gray sky. He could feel eyes on him, a prickling sensation on the back of his neck.
The door hung crookedly on its hinges, groaning softly in the wind. JT reached out, his hand trembling, and pushed it open.
The interior was dark and damp, the air thick with the smell of decay and something else…something indefinable, something ancient and unsettling. Dust motes danced in the slivers of light that filtered through the cracks in the walls. A single, overturned chair lay in the center of the room.
He took a tentative step inside, his boots crunching on the debris-strewn floor. He noticed something etched into the wall, barely visible beneath a layer of grime. He knelt down, brushing away the dust, and his breath caught in his throat.
It was a drawing. A crude, childlike depiction of a caribou. But it wasn’t just any caribou. It was the buck. The one he’d seen in the clearing, with its dark, flat eyes and its unsettling stillness. And beneath the drawing, scrawled in what looked like dried blood, were three words: *They are waiting.*
A sudden noise from outside made him jump. He spun around, heart pounding, but there was nothing there. Just the wind, whispering through the trees.
He backed away, slowly, his eyes darting around the room. He felt a presence, a palpable sense of being watched. He could almost feel the breath on his neck.
He stumbled out of the cabin, gasping for air, and plunged back into the woods. He didn't stop running until he reached the familiar comfort of the lodge, his legs burning, his lungs aching.
He found his father and Mike sitting by the fire, their faces illuminated by the flickering flames. They were speaking in hushed tones, their voices barely audible.
“He’s changing,” Mike was saying. “I can feel it.”
“He’s always been…different,” their father replied, his voice low and strained. “It’s just becoming more pronounced.”
JT froze, listening to their words, his blood turning to ice. What were they talking about?
He took a deep breath and forced himself to walk towards them.
“I…I found something,” he stammered, his voice trembling. “A cabin. An old hunting cabin.”
His father looked up, his eyes gleaming with that unsettling light. “And what did you find there, son?”
JT hesitated, unsure how to explain what he’d seen, what he’d felt. “A drawing,” he said finally. “Of a caribou. The one…the one from the clearing.”
His father’s lips curled into a slow, knowing smile. “The woods remember, JT,” he said softly. “The woods always remember.”
Mike stared at JT, his expression unreadable. He opened his mouth to speak, but then he stopped, his eyes fixed on something behind JT.
JT turned around, slowly, his heart pounding in his chest.
Standing in the doorway, silhouetted against the fading light, was the buck. The one from the clearing. The one from the drawing.
It stood perfectly still, its dark, flat eyes fixed on JT, and for the first time, he understood.
It wasn’t waiting for a shot. It was waiting for him.
Judge Evaluation:
[Analysis]
This continuation of the horror story maintains the established tone and builds effectively on the foundation laid in the prompt. The piece successfully creates an atmosphere of dread and isolation, focusing on JT's perspective as an unreliable narrator questioning his own perceptions.
The writing demonstrates strong imagery, particularly in the descriptions of the abandoned cabin and the unnatural stillness of the caribou. Lines like "The caribou didn't run. They stood, or grazed, or simply *were*, waiting" effectively establish the unsettling atmosphere. The description of the cabin as having "cedar shingles rotting and peeling, the windows dark and vacant" creates a vivid picture of decay and abandonment.
The character development is handled well, with subtle changes in Mike and the father that heighten JT's isolation. The dialogue, though sparse, serves its purpose in revealing the strained family dynamics and hinting at deeper mysteries. However, some of the dialogue feels slightly on-the-nose, particularly the father's final line about the woods remembering, which veers into cliché territory.
The pacing builds tension effectively, leading to a climactic revelation that pays off the setup from the prompt. The discovery of the cabin and the drawing provides a satisfying escalation of the horror elements while maintaining the psychological ambiguity established earlier.
There are moments where the prose becomes slightly overwrought, with metaphors that call attention to themselves rather than enhancing the narrative. For instance, "the trees were gnarled and ancient, their branches intertwined like skeletal fingers reaching for the sky" is effective but familiar imagery for the genre.
The ending successfully delivers a payoff that ties back to the earlier scene in the clearing, creating a circular narrative structure that feels cohesive. The final revelation that "It wasn't waiting for a shot. It was waiting for him" provides a chilling conclusion that leaves the reader wanting more.
Overall, the piece successfully emulates the Stephen King style requested, blending psychological horror with supernatural elements while maintaining ambiguity about what is real and what might be in JT's mind. The writing is technically proficient, with strong imagery and atmosphere, though it occasionally relies on familiar horror tropes.
[Scores]
Adherence to Instructions: 18
Believable Character Actions: 17
Nuanced Characters: 16
Consistent Voice/Tone of Writing: 18
Imagery and Descriptive Quality: 17
Elegant Prose: 16
Emotionally Engaging: 17
Emotionally Complex: 16
Coherent: 18
Meandering: 4
Weak Dialogue: 6
Tell-Don't-Show: 5
Unsurprising or Uncreative: 7
Amateurish: 4
Purple Prose: 6
Overwrought: 5
Incongruent Ending Positivity: 2
Unearned Transformations: 3
Well-earned Lightness or Darkness: 17
Sentences Flow Naturally: 17
Overall Reader Engagement: 17
Overall Impression: 17
Scores: Adherence to Instructions: 18.0, Believable Character Actions: 17.0, Nuanced Characters: 16.0, Consistent Voice/Tone of Writing: 18.0, Imagery and Descriptive Quality: 17.0, Elegant Prose: 16.0, Emotionally Engaging: 17.0, Emotionally Complex: 16.0, Coherent: 18.0, Meandering: 4.0, Weak Dialogue: 6.0, Tell-Don't-Show: 5.0, Unsurprising or Uncreative: 7.0, Amateurish: 4.0, Purple Prose: 6.0, Overwrought: 5.0, Incongruent Ending Positivity: 2.0, Unearned Transformations: 3.0, Well-earned Lightness or Darkness: 17.0, Sentences Flow Naturally: 17.0, Overall Reader Engagement: 17.0, Overall Impression: 17.0