Prompt:
Caribou Season at the Lodge
Genre: Surreal Horror
JT knew something wasn't right from the moment they'd pulled up to the lodge. It looked exactly as it had every autumn of his life—the cedar shingles silvered with age, the porch sagging gently under weight of winters past—but the air felt thicker, somehow, as if the woods had leaned in closer, waiting. He thought maybe he was just tired. Maybe it was nothing more than the long drive north, cramped in the back of the truck beside his older brother Mike -- and a stack of rifles wrapped in oily canvas. Still, the feeling lingered.
The first caribou they found that season hadn't bolted. It had just watched, ears flicking lazily, waiting for the shot. JT had felt a crawling in his gut watching it die, noticing how it fell with a quiet dignity—as though it had wanted nothing more. Nobody else seemed to find it odd, or at least they didn't say so. JT kept his mouth shut. Always safer that way.
Then there was the moment in the clearing. JT had fallen behind, fumbling with bootlaces stiff from the cold, and by the time he'd caught up with his father and brother, they'd already stopped. JT slowed instinctively, ducking behind a tangle of brush, staring out into the open space where a massive buck stood utterly still, chest rising and falling in slow, deep breaths. The animal looked…wrong, somehow. Maybe it was the eyes—dark and flat, calm in a way that made JT's neck prickle. Or maybe it was something deeper, something in the way the buck stood close enough for his father to reach out and touch it.
JT watched as his father raised a trembling hand toward the animal's muzzle. His father's face had a strange expression, eyes too bright, lips parted slightly, like he was on the verge of whispering something—a secret, maybe. The rifle hung uselessly at his side, forgotten. Mike had the same dazed look in his eyes. JT's breath stopped short, his mind suddenly shouting at him to look away, turn around, just run—but he couldn't move.
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. The buck shivered, startled by something unseen, and disappeared into the brush without so much as a sound. The two of them looked around, confused, seemingly surprised to find themselves where they stood. JT stayed hidden, breathing shallowly, fear mingling with a confused sense of shame. His father had failed to take the shot. To even think about mentioning what he'd seen would have felt like betrayal—or something worse.
JT waited until the others moved on before stepping out from cover. He stared into the empty clearing for a long, uneasy moment, wondering if anything had really happened at all, or if he was losing his grip. Maybe the woods were finally getting into his head.
Writing Instructions:
Continue with the next chapter of the story, maintaining a style reminiscent of Stephen King—grounded realism blended seamlessly with unsettling surrealism. The atmosphere should convey subtle dread, isolation, and psychological ambiguity. JT's perspective is crucial, yet he is an unreliable narrator, caught in uncertainty about what he's perceiving. Establish an undertone of creeping dread, establishing the isolation of JT's perspective, which he largely keeps to himself. Incorporate some dialogue. Build tension towards a payoff. 1000 words.
Model Output:
The woods pressed in tighter that night, as if they’d decided it was finally time to claim the space between the trees and the road. The lodge’s porch light flickered once, twice, then steadied, spilling a thin pool of amber onto the pine‑scented gravel. JT stood at the edge of the clearing, the echo of the buck’s sudden disappearance still ringing in his ears like a muted alarm. He could feel the cold seeping through his jacket, but it was the weight of his own breath that seemed to freeze his throat.
“Hey, JT—” Mike’s voice cut through the hush, a low rumble that sounded more like a growl than a greeting. “You okay out there?”
JT turned, the shadow of the lodge’s eaves stretching across his face. He forced a grin that didn’t reach his eyes. “Just… thought I’d take a look around.” He gestured vaguely at the darkness beyond the porch, where the trees stood like black sentinels.
Mike shifted his pack, the metal of his rifle clanking softly. “You sure? We’re supposed to be back before dark. Dad’s already talking about getting the fire going, and Mom—”
“Mom’s not here. She’s in the city, taking care of the house while we’re out here,” JT muttered, the lie slipping out before he could stop it. The truth was that Mom had left a note on the kitchen table: *“Be safe. Don’t stay out after dark.”* He’d crumpled it and shoved it into his pocket, the paper softening with his sweat.
Mike’s brow furrowed. “You sound… off. You’ve been quiet all day. You saw something, didn’t you?”
JT swallowed, feeling the lump in his throat rise like a stone. He could see the way the firelight danced on his brother’s face, the way the shadows under his eyes deepened. “Nothing. Just… the woods. They’re… louder than usual.” He tried to sound casual, but his voice cracked.
Mike didn’t press further. He should have. He should have asked why JT’s hands were shaking, why his eyes kept darting back toward the clearing, why the air seemed to vibrate with a low, humming thrum that no one else could hear. But the older brother was a man of habits, and habits rarely include confronting the strange.
The night grew thicker. The wind whispered through the pines, a susurrus that sounded almost like voices chanting in a language JT didn’t recognize. Somewhere far off, an owl hooted, its call echoing against the bark of ancient trees. JT’s thoughts drifted, as they always did when he tried to make sense of what he’d seen, to the old hunting cabin that lay a mile deeper into the woods.
The cabin was a rumor among the locals, a crumbling skeleton of a log structure that had once been a place for trappers and hunters to take shelter from the storm. It was said that after a blizzard in ’73, a family of four disappeared inside, never to be seen again. Some swore they could still hear a child’s laughter echoing from its rotting walls at night. Others claimed a shape—half‑human, half‑wolf—stood in the doorway, its eyes like polished amber, watching anyone who dared approach. The cabin had become a cautionary tale, a whispered warning to keep kids from wandering too far.
JT had never believed in ghosts, but after the buck’s vanishing act, the story felt too close to reality to dismiss. He could still see the buck’s eyes—flat, dark, almost as if they were windows into some deeper void. He could still hear his father's voice, low and reverent, as if he were about to recite a prayer to something unseen. The memory lodged itself in his mind like a splinter, refusing to be scraped away.
He tried to shake it, to focus on the crackle of the fire and the smell of pine sap that drifted from the lodge’s chimney. But the woods, with their endless canopy, seemed to close in, compressing the space between the trees until the world felt like a single, suffocating hallway.
“JT,” Mike said again, his tone softer now, almost tentative. “You sure you don’t want to go inside? We could set up a night watch, just in case.” He gestured toward the lodge’s darkened windows, where the faint glow of a few lamps suggested the interior was alive.
JT hesitated. The idea of staying inside, of being surrounded by walls that had witnessed generations of hunters, seemed safer than the open, whispering forest. Yet something inside him—a gnawing curiosity, a need to understand what he had witnessed—pulled him toward the edge of the clearing.
“Let’s… let’s go check the cabin,” he said suddenly, the words spilling out before he could stop them. Mike stared at him, eyebrows lifting in surprise.
“The cabin? JT, we’ve got a whole night ahead of us. We should—”
“I know,” JT cut him off. “But I… I need to see if there’s something there. If… if the woods are trying to tell us something.” He tried to sound rational, but his voice trembled.
Mike exhaled a breath that fogged in the cold air. “All right. One quick look, then we head back. No lingering, no… whatever you think you saw.” He clapped JT on the shoulder, a gesture that felt both reassuring and oddly possessive.
The two brothers slipped out of the lodge, the door closing with a soft thud behind them. The path back to the cabin was barely more than a faint track, half‑covered in fallen needles and frost. The moon hung low, a pale disc that cast a silver sheen over the snow‑blanketed ground, turning the world into a monochrome painting.
They walked in silence, the only sounds their boots crunching in the snow and the occasional rustle of a small animal darting through the underbrush. As they progressed, the trees grew denser, their limbs intertwining to form a vaulted ceiling that blocked out the moonlight, plunging the path into an almost total darkness. The air grew colder, and JT felt a thin layer of frost forming on his eyelashes.
When they finally reached the clearing where the cabin stood, JT’s breath caught in his throat. The structure loomed like a wounded beast, its roof sagging under the weight of years, the logs blackened by fire and rot. A thin wisp of smoke curled from the chimney, though no one was inside to tend it. The door hung ajar, swaying gently on its hinges as if pushed by an unseen hand.
“Looks like someone’s been here,” Mike whispered, his voice barely audible over the wind.
JT stepped forward, his heart hammering against his ribs. He reached out, his fingers brushing the cold metal of the doorknob. The metal was slick with ice, and as his hand made contact, a shiver ran up his arm, as if the knob were a conduit for the forest’s own pulse.
“Do we… go in?” Mike asked, his eyes wide, reflecting the dim glow of the cabin’s interior.
JT swallowed, feeling the weight of the moment settle like a stone in his gut. He could hear the faintest of sounds coming from within—something like a low hum, a vibration that resonated with the same frequency as the wind through the pines. It was an unsettling, almost musical tone, like a distant choir singing without words.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice steadier than he felt. “We go in. Just—just a quick look.”
They pushed the door open, and the hinges squealed in protest. The interior was cloaked in darkness, the only light coming from the dying embers of a fire that seemed to have been abandoned mid‑burn. Shadows danced across the walls, forming shapes that seemed to shift and breathe. The floorboards creaked under their weight, each step echoing through the empty space like a warning.
In the corner, half‑covered by a tattered blanket, lay a wooden crate. The lid was slightly ajar, and inside, something glinted—a cluster of antlers, polished to a dark sheen, as if they had been oiled. JT’s eyes were drawn to them, an inexplicable pull tugging at his mind. He stepped closer, the air growing colder with each breath.
“Don’t—” Mike started, but the words caught in his throat. He reached out, his hand hovering over the crate, as if some unseen force was holding him back.
JT’s fingers brushed the antlers. The moment his skin made contact, a rush of images flooded his mind: a herd of caribou moving in perfect, synchronized formation; the sound of hooves thundering across frozen earth; the sight of a massive, ancient stag with eyes like polished obsidian standing atop a ridge, its antlers spreading like the branches of a tree. The vision snapped back to the present, leaving JT breathless and disoriented.
“Did—did you see that?” he whispered, half to himself, half to Mike.
Mike stared at him, his eyes wide with a mixture of fear and awe. “I… I think I felt something. Like… like a weight in my chest. Like the forest is… watching us.”
A sudden crack echoed through the cabin, as if a branch had broken far outside. The sound seemed to reverberate off the walls, amplifying the tension that hung in the air. JT turned toward the source, his heart pounding like a drum in a funeral procession.
Beyond the far wall, a narrow doorway led to a small stairwell that descended into darkness. The faint glow of the fire flickered against the stone, casting elongated shadows that seemed to move on their own. JT felt an inexplicable urge to go down, as if the forest itself were pulling him deeper into its secret heart.
“Maybe we should—” Mike began, but his voice faltered.
JT’s gaze fell on a faded photograph propped against a cracked wooden shelf. It was black and white, the edges yellowed with age. In the picture, a family of four—father, mother, and two children—stood in front of the same cabin, all smiling, their faces turned toward the camera. Behind them, the trees seemed to close in, their trunks almost touching. The father’s hand rested on the shoulder of the youngest, a boy who bore an uncanny resemblance to JT.
JT’s breath hitched. He lifted the photo, turning it over. On the back, scrawled in a shaky hand, were the words: *“Don’t let them come back. The woods remember.”* The ink was smudged, as if written in haste, the letters blurring together.
He felt a cold sweat break out across his forehead. “Mike, we need to leave. Now.”
Mike nodded, his eyes darting back and forth between the photograph, the antlers, and the dark stairwell. The cabin seemed to exhale, a low, resonant sigh that vibrated through the floorboards.
“JT—” Mike started, his voice trembling, “what the hell is this place?”
JT swallowed, trying to steady his thoughts. “I don’t know. But whatever it is… it’s not just a cabin. It’s… a… a conduit.” He glanced at the antlers again, the polished dark surfaces reflecting the firelight like twin black moons. “It’s like… a doorway. Something’s been feeding off the woods, off the caribou, off us. And it’s waiting.”
A sudden crash reverberated from the stairwell, a deafening roar that seemed to shake the very foundation of the cabin. Dust fell from the ceiling, and a gust of wind—unnatural, hot, and scented with pine sap—swept through the room, extinguishing the fire in an instant. The darkness that filled the cabin was absolute, a blackness that seemed to swallow even the memory of light.
JT’s mind raced. The buck in the clearing, the father’s trembling hand, the antlers, the photograph—everything was a thread in a tapestry he could no longer untangle. He felt the forest pressing against his skin, its breath warm on his neck, its voice a low, guttural chant that resonated in his bones.
“Mike!” he shouted, his voice echoing off the walls. “Run! Get out of here!”
Mike turned, eyes wide, and bolted for the door, his boots slipping on the slick floor. JT followed, his heart pounding like a frantic drum. They burst through the doorway, the night air hitting them like a wall of ice. The moon, now full and stark, illuminated the path back toward the lodge, but the woods seemed different—more alive, more aware.
As they ran, the trees seemed to sway in unison, branches reaching like skeletal hands toward them. A low, mournful howl rose from somewhere deep within the forest, a sound that made JT’s blood run cold. He could hear the echo of hooves, distant yet unmistakable, as if an entire herd were moving in perfect formation toward them.
When they finally staggered back to the porch of the lodge, breathless and trembling, the fire inside was already roaring, casting a warm, orange glow that seemed almost alien after the cold terror of the cabin. Their father stood at the threshold, rifle in hand, his face illuminated by the firelight, eyes wide but steady.
“What the hell happened out there?” their father asked, voice low but edged with an uncharacteristic tremor.
JT stared at him, the photograph still clutched in his hand, the ink smudged, the words half‑legible. He wanted to speak, to tell his father about the antlers, the photograph, the humming in the cabin, the feeling that the woods were something more than trees and snow. But the words caught in his throat, tangled with the memory of his father’s trembling hand on the buck’s muzzle.
“I… I saw something,” JT managed, his voice cracked. “Something that… that wasn’t there. And I think… I think the woods are… they’re alive. They’re watching. They’re waiting.”
His father’s eyes flickered, a flash of something—recognition? Fear?—crossing his face before he forced a tight smile. “We all get a little spooked in these woods,” he said, trying to sound casual, but his voice wavered. “Let’s get some coffee. We’ll talk in the morning.”
Mike nodded, still shaking, his hands clenching and unclenching. The fire crackled, sending a spray of sparks into the night, illuminating the porch for a brief moment before the darkness reclaimed it.
JT looked out toward the trees, the shadows now seeming to pulse with a slow, rhythmic beat, like a heart. He could still hear that low hum inside his head, a resonance that refused to fade. The cabin, the photograph, the antlers—each a piece of a puzzle that was still missing its center. He felt as though he were standing on the edge of a precipice, the abyss below a dark, uncharted forest that beckoned with the promise of answers and the threat of oblivion.
He swallowed, the taste of pine and fear mingling on his tongue, and whispered to the night, “I don’t know what you are, but I’ll be watching.” The wind answered with a soft sigh, as if the woods had heard him, and in that breath, JT sensed both warning and invitation.
The night stretched on, the fire’s glow fading as embers turned to ash. Somewhere deep within the forest, a buck lifted its head, eyes reflecting the moonlight, and for a heartbeat, JT felt a connection—a silent pact between hunter and hunted, between man and the ancient, unknowable hunger of the woods. He closed his eyes, letting the darkness seep in, unsure whether he was falling asleep or being swallowed whole.
When morning finally broke, the sky a bruised gray, the lodge stood firm, a solitary beacon amid the endless timber. The cabin, however, remained a silhouette against the horizon, its dark windows like eyes watching, waiting for the next season when the hunters would return and the forest would whisper its secret once more.
Judge Evaluation:
[Analysis]
This continuation of the surreal horror story maintains the established atmosphere of dread and psychological ambiguity quite effectively. The piece successfully builds on JT's perspective as an unreliable narrator caught between reality and something more sinister in the woods.
The writing demonstrates strong imagery and descriptive quality, particularly in establishing the eerie setting. Descriptions like "the woods pressed in tighter that night" and "shadows danced across the walls, forming shapes that seemed to shift and breathe" create a palpable sense of unease. The author effectively uses sensory details to immerse the reader in this unsettling environment.
The character development is handled well, with JT's internal conflict and growing paranoia feeling authentic. His relationship with his brother Mike and their father adds complexity to the narrative. The dialogue, while not extensive, serves its purpose in revealing character dynamics and advancing the plot. However, some exchanges feel slightly mechanical rather than organic, particularly when characters are explaining their feelings directly.
The prose generally flows well, though there are moments where it becomes slightly overwrought with metaphors and similes that call attention to themselves rather than enhancing the narrative. Lines like "his heart pounding like a drum in a funeral procession" feel a bit heavy-handed.
The plot progression is logical, with the discovery of the cabin and its mysterious contents providing an effective escalation of the horror elements. The introduction of the photograph and antlers as potential supernatural conduits is intriguing, though the explanation of what might be happening feels somewhat rushed and on-the-nose when JT declares, "It's like... a doorway. Something's been feeding off the woods, off the caribou, off us."
The ending maintains the ambiguity established throughout, avoiding neat resolution in favor of lingering dread. This approach suits the genre well, though the final paragraphs become slightly repetitive in hammering home the theme of the watching, waiting forest.
Overall, the piece successfully captures a Stephen King-esque blend of grounded realism and unsettling surrealism. It maintains tension throughout and delivers on the promise of psychological horror while leaving enough mystery to keep the reader engaged. The writing is generally strong, with occasional lapses into purple prose and on-the-nose exposition being the main weaknesses.
[Scores]
Adherence to Instructions: 18
Believable Character Actions: 16
Nuanced Characters: 15
Consistent Voice/Tone of Writing: 17
Imagery and Descriptive Quality: 18
Elegant Prose: 15
Emotionally Engaging: 17
Emotionally Complex: 16
Coherent: 17
Meandering: 5
Weak Dialogue: 7
Tell-Don't-Show: 6
Unsurprising or Uncreative: 6
Amateurish: 4
Purple Prose: 7
Overwrought: 6
Incongruent Ending Positivity: 2
Unearned Transformations: 3
Well-earned Lightness or Darkness: 17
Sentences Flow Naturally: 16
Overall Reader Engagement: 17
Overall Impression: 17
Scores: Adherence to Instructions: 18.0, Believable Character Actions: 16.0, Nuanced Characters: 15.0, Consistent Voice/Tone of Writing: 17.0, Imagery and Descriptive Quality: 18.0, Elegant Prose: 15.0, Emotionally Engaging: 17.0, Emotionally Complex: 16.0, Coherent: 17.0, Meandering: 5.0, Weak Dialogue: 7.0, Tell-Don't-Show: 6.0, Unsurprising or Uncreative: 6.0, Amateurish: 4.0, Purple Prose: 7.0, Overwrought: 6.0, Incongruent Ending Positivity: 2.0, Unearned Transformations: 3.0, Well-earned Lightness or Darkness: 17.0, Sentences Flow Naturally: 16.0, Overall Reader Engagement: 17.0, Overall Impression: 17.0